


Play Place

by Sephyranthus



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, M/M, Out of Character, a crack fic that takes place in mcdonalds, not sorry, sephiroth becomes a torpedo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26277244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephyranthus/pseuds/Sephyranthus
Summary: “Hm,” Sephiroth hummed, eyeing Cloud. His eyes traced over Cloud’s flushed face, his pretty blond hair, and down his toned, muscular body which was unsuccessfully hidden underneath a plain black shirt. “I think you could handle a Big Mac. Make it a double.” He winked playfully at Cloud, which filled his stomach with butterflies.[This is a crack fic. I hope you laugh as much reading it as I did when I wrote it.]
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	Play Place

**Author's Note:**

> My friends and I came up with this idea for no reason whatsoever and I decided to bring it to life in fic form. This fic has: out of character, explicit scenes, very AU, and a torpedo moment. This is not serious. You've been warned.  
> Also I'm sorry but also not sorry for what I did to Ronald McDonald.

The doors flew open much too easily and slammed against the wall, nearly leaving a dent. Cloud winced out of embarrassment and pretended to not notice the scratch he had left upon the cheap wallpaper – not that anyone would have noticed regardless. McDonald’s was not known for being a fine dining experience, but Cloud was intent on appearing as nonchalant and desirable as he could. With nervous eyes, he glanced up at the counter, hoping the mysterious man of his dreams had not witnessed his clumsiness. Green, cat-like eyes locked him into place, and he felt a breath escape his lips. 

“S-Sorry,” Cloud stuttered. He scratched the back of his head and debated on whether to run out of shame or to continue trying to appear calm and collected. 

The man curiously raised an eyebrow. “It’s McDonald’s,” he said. “Don’t sweat it.” 

Cloud forced a small chuckle. “Right.” He sauntered toward the counter, awkwardly avoiding the man’s gaze – the gorgeous man whose name he still hadn’t managed to learn. 

“So what will it be today, Cloud?” the man asked through a velvety voice. 

“You know my name?” Cloud’s eyes widened, and he glanced down to see if he could read the man’s name tag at last with no avail – it was once again covered up by his long, silver hair. Cloud had wondered why the man hadn’t been made to wear his hair up as one usually would when working around food, but after imagining his hair draped across his own body, he decided he didn’t care for the reason why. 

“You gave me your name when you ordered last time.” The man raised his eyebrow once more, no doubt perplexed by Cloud’s apparent incompetence. 

“Oh.” Cloud flushed bright red and looked away. “Well, uh….” He wanted so badly to ask for the man’s name, but the thought of blurting out such a question when he had already made a fool of himself was a petrifying thought. He heard a sigh. 

“It’s Sephiroth.” 

“Huh?” Cloud jerked his head up to look at the man, stumbling in place. 

“My name. It’s Sephiroth. That’s what you were wondering, right?” Sephiroth smirked knowingly, amused at the reaction he had received. 

“Oh. Right.” Cloud looked back to the floor and smiled to himself. The name danced around his mind as he played with the sound of it. Its uniqueness suited the man, as much as his beautiful silver hair suited his striking green eyes. “Sephiroth,” he said aloud. 

“Yes.” Sephiroth smiled, showing his brilliant teeth. “It’s nice to hear you finally say it.” 

If Cloud’s face could have flushed even darker it would have. “What do you mean by that?” 

“Well,” Sephiroth said, his smile unwavering, “you come in here every day for me, right?” 

“That’s – I don’t know what –,” Cloud stuttered, completely flustered at having been found out. Sure, he had come in every day since noticing Sephiroth at the Drive Thru window, but he had never said much before aside from placing his order and thanking him profusely. Sephiroth’s velvety laughter cut through Cloud’s words, causing him to stand still, completely mesmerized by how beautiful it sounded. 

“No need to be coy, Cloud.” He set his elbows on the counter and leaned against it. “I like seeing you every day.” 

Cloud’s heart raced in his chest, threatening to break through. “You do?” 

They held each other’s gaze, transfixed by the moment that passed between them. “Tell you what,” Sephiroth said, his voice lowering in such a way that caused Cloud’s blood to travel downward. “I’m the closing manager tonight. Come see me then.” 

“Like, here?” Cloud asked, gesturing around him. Sephiroth nodded in response. “I… yes. Sure. Yes, I’ll be here.” He watched Sephiroth in amazement, wondering what he had already planned for them in such a place as McDonald’s. 

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Sephiroth smirked once more. “So tell me,” he said, straightening himself back up behind the register, “what can I get for you today?” 

In all honesty, Cloud was no longer hungry – well, he wasn’t hungry for food, anyway. But he had no intention of meeting up later on an empty stomach. “What would you recommend?” 

“Hm,” Sephiroth hummed, eyeing Cloud. His eyes traced over Cloud’s flushed face, his pretty blond hair, and down his toned, muscular body which was unsuccessfully hidden underneath a plain black shirt. “I think you could handle a Big Mac. Make it a double.” He winked playfully at Cloud, which filled his stomach with butterflies.

Cloud shivered under Sephiroth’s gaze. “Ah,” he said quietly, nodding. “Yes, please.” 

He could have driven literally anywhere else, but Cloud’s nerves got the best of him. He sat in his car in the parking lot, watching through the windows of the fast food restaurant as Sephiroth and his fellow co-workers locked up and finished up their closing duties. He had eaten his Big Mac inside from a corner booth, occasionally looking over his burger to peer at Sephiroth once his back turned. They hadn’t exchanged another word since he had sat down to eat, so it was easy to believe that their entire conversation had been a fabrication of his hopeful imagination. He would have driven off if it weren’t for Sephiroth’s watchful eyes which seemed to know exactly where his car was parked. 

Cloud closed his eyes and focused on steadying his breathing. With no idea of what was to come, he played every probable scenario in his mind. Would Sephiroth, having finally gotten him alone, laugh at him for being a ridiculous, stuttering, boy? He forced the image out of his mind, knowing that if he fell down the path of “what ifs” he would stumble upon a terrifying prediction that would cause him to pass up the opportunity. 

His eyes snapped open at the sound of a car starting. He looked around, taking note that Sephiroth’s co-workers had just started their journeys home, making him the only one still in the building. Cloud watched as the cars left the parking lot one by one and made their way down the road, out of sight. “Okay,” he said to himself quietly. “I can do this.” Once he was sure all the other cars had left the parking lot, he slowly exited his car. 

The walk up to the door felt surreal, as if he were stumbling through a dream. He was completely prepared to knock on the locked glass door and receive no response at all, and then turn away in hidden embarrassment. When he did knock, however, Sephiroth appeared. “So you actually showed up,” he said in amusement as he opened the door for Cloud. 

“Yeah.” Cloud shuffled through, not knowing exactly where he should go. He heard the click of the door locking behind them and a nervous shiver ran up his spine. “Where should I…?” 

“I think the play place will do nicely.” Sephiroth turned to face Cloud and crossed his arms as he sized him up. Cloud felt completely naked under the gaze, as if the cat-like eyes could see not only through his clothing but down to his core. 

“The playground?” Cloud looked over at the opposite end of the restaurant to the plastic jungle that was the play place, an ominous shroud of darkness hanging over it. “I haven’t been there in years.” 

“Then hop to it. I’ll join you shortly.” Without another word, Sephiroth disappeared behind the counter. Cloud’s eyes widened, and he glanced back and forth from the play place to where Sephiroth had gone. With all the scenarios he had let run through his mind in the car earlier, he hadn’t anticipated what Sephiroth had put into motion. He wondered vaguely if this was a date and if he was simply meant to relive childhood memories. Surely that was all? 

Cloud made his way to the entrance to the play place and opened the door cautiously. The room smelt just as he had both remembered and imagined – like forgotten, slimy dreams. His nose crinkled at the mixture of smells, and he sat at one of the small tables against the wall, not bothering to turn on the lights. As he sat there, mind racing, he wondered if he heard music quietly playing from the speakers above. In fact, he was absolutely sure he heard music, though he couldn’t quite name what the familiar tune was. 

Curious, he stood up and angled his ear toward the speaker, which seemed to aid in identifying the song. He had definitely heard it before. As he listened intently, he took note that the volume of the music was increasing, changing from quiet white noise to the equivalent of what you would hear while dancing at the club. “Womanizer,” he said to himself. “By Britney Spears.” He hadn’t heard such a song play in a children’s play place before, and he wondered if perhaps the closers had forgotten to shut it off for the night. 

“You like it?” The voice startled Cloud out of his concentration, and he nearly jumped back. 

“Yeah, I –.” His words caught in his throat as he shifted his attention from the music to the man in front of him. There, standing in the doorway, was Sephiroth, in nothing but a crimson red McDonald’s visor. He was leaning against the doorway, a snake-like grin playing at the corners of his mouth. Cloud nearly screamed. 

“S-Sephiroth!” Cloud felt his voice catch in his throat and his mouth hung open. His eyes widened as he took in the entire figure in front of him, visor and all. “What are you –?” 

“You asked what I recommended,” Sephiroth said in a sing song voice. He placed one foot in front of the other, making his way to Cloud, walking perfectly in time with the beat of the song. “I did say a double Big Mac.” 

Cloud felt all the blood in his body plummet downward to his groin. He tried, and failed, to keep his eyes locked with Sephiroth. Instead, he looked down at what exactly Sephiroth had meant when he said Big Mac – his McDick. Mouth watering, Cloud instinctively fell to his knees. “I… would like to place an order,” he said, more confidently than he had been all evening. 

Sephiroth positioned himself directly in front of Cloud, clearly proud of himself. “Order up.” 

Cloud took all of him in at once, losing himself completely in the moment. All he knew was the taste of Sephiroth filling his mouth, and the tune of Womanizer booming over them from the speaker. It slowly faded into Toxic, also by Britney Spears. Sephiroth sighed above him, shuddering at the feeling of Cloud’s warmth around him. Encouraged by this, Cloud began moving himself back and forth on the meaty length, savoring every inch of him. “Ah!” Sephiroth gasped, feeling the back of Cloud’s throat. “I’m loving it!” His fingers laced through Cloud’s spiky hair, and he pulled hard, eliciting a shocked groan from him. 

Cloud was ready to consume all of him - make him his dinner and dessert - until Sephiroth abruptly pulled away. Before he could ask why, Sephiroth pulled him to his feet and crashed their lips together. Cloud could taste salt and grease on his tongue, and he moaned into the heat of his mouth. His eager hands traveled down Sephiroth’s body, feeling every bit of his oiled up skin, and he vaguely wondered if that was where the taste of grease had come from. 

“Get on the slide,” Sephiroth breathed into his mouth, his voice wet with lust. 

Pulling away, Cloud gasped for breath. “Okay,” he whispered back. Sephiroth walked him to the bottom of the green slide and gestured at the entrance. Cloud looked at him with quizzical eyes, trying to understand what exactly the man was wanting from him. 

“Take off your clothes,” Sephiroth demanded, in what Cloud assumed must be his manager voice. There was no choice but to comply with such a commanding tone. 

“Yes, sir.” Cloud stripped, ignoring the shyness he felt at exposing himself for the first time. Knowing he was being watched filled him with excitement, and knowing his nakedness pleased Sephiroth only made his member pulse harder with enjoyment. 

“Now up here,” Sephiroth said, pointing to the bottom of the slide once more. “On all fours.” Cloud raised an eyebrow but didn’t question him. He lifted his body onto the slide, cautious of how sweaty he had become. “No,” he heard Sephiroth say. “Turn around.” He had angled his ass outside of the slide, allowing Sephiroth to have easy access if he wanted it, but at Sephiroth’s command he prepared himself to swallow his meat once more. After positioning himself, Sephiroth simply nodded and walked away. “Stay there,” he heard him say. “And get ready.” 

Get ready for what? Cloud wondered. He spread his legs further apart and focused his eyes forward on a decal that was stuck on the glass window, illuminated by the streetlamp outside – it was the intimidating face of Ronald McDonald. Cloud shut his eyes, not wanting the family friendly clown to observe him in this moment. He heard the sound of Sephiroth ascending the stairs to the top of the slide, and then the curious sound of liquid pouring. The wetness pooled at his feet and hands, but the darkness of the playground prevented him from identifying the liquid. Toxic by Britney Spears faded into something more calm, and just as Cloud began to recognize the new song, he heard Sephiroth singing from the top of the slide. 

“I know that we are young, and I know that you may love me, but I just can’t be with you like this anymore… Alejandro.” 

The beat dropped at the same time Cloud felt movement at the top of the slide. Sephiroth had sat himself down and pushed off. The friction of his movements combined with the liquid flowing down the slide turned Sephiroth into some kind of torpedo. He sped down the slide, his body twisting perfectly with every curve the slide did around the playground, his hair flying behind him like wings. He had lined himself up perfectly, so that when he made impact with Cloud he sheathed his meat completely inside of him. Cloud immediately saw stars, and he let out a sound he had never heard come from his throat before. An intense orgasm ripped through his body, an orgasm so strong it could have only come from within his soul. He felt himself cum similarly to how Sephiroth had rocketed down the slide – it shot across the playground, landing shamelessly upon Ronald McDonald’s watchful decal. From behind Cloud, Sephiroth roared in triumphant laughter and he unsheathed himself. 

The beats of Alejandro continued to play from above them as Cloud felt himself collapse on the slide, his body shaking from the experience. “So,” he gasped between a heavy breath. “Was that a happy meal?” 

“Sure was,” Sephiroth said, flicking his hair behind his shoulder like he were in some sort of commercial. “Are you ready for your toy?” 

End


End file.
